Things I wish I could say.
There are so many things I want to say to you. Things I can’t quite put into words. Not words I can speak at least. It’s like in my head, it sounds perfect, on paper, it’s mediocre. When I say it aloud, it doesn’t sound right. But here it goes, for the world to see, and hopefully you will see it someday.
You’re an idiot, an addict, a user, a player, a liar. You’re everything I don’t want in a guy, everything I know isn’t good for me. But for some reason, I can’t live without you. You to me, is like those drugs you’re so addicted to. When you’re not around, I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can barely think of a single thing other than you, than your smile, than your eyes, than your presence. The withdrawals are killing me, slowly but surely. We fight constantly, about the stupidest things. Reality check, you don’t have to worry about other guys, because they all disappear whenever you’re around. And when you’re gone, I see a piece of you in each and every one of them. So I’ve kissed other guys, but every time I did, I was thinking of you and I was doing it in an attempt to get over you… To move on. But it’s never worked, because you’re my drug. My heroin. I need you. Don’t you understand that? I can’t live without you. That’s my biggest fear, you know.. That one day, you’ll wake up and realize you can do so much better than me. You will get tired of it, of this, and leave me forever. I can handle a week, maybe even a month without you, but the rest of my life is an awfully long time to not hear your voice, to feel your lips.
These are the things I wish I could say to you. Things that will never be spoken aloud. All of this could be summed into three words. Three words I can’t even write.
Reblogged from 52 Stories.
